Are you ever in a situation where you are having difficulty with something or someone and would like to deal with it politely or easily? Here are some issues I have had to solve lately. If you want to post me your issue in the comments section below, I would be happy to respond.
Situations like this can be draining. There is a light at the end of the tunnel, here is how to take back your positive energy:
Solution for a demanding friend who expects you to spend too much time together:
You can schedule as much space between visits. I had a friend who wanted me to spend every waking hour with her. She would ask what we were doing for the rest of the week, and I told her I could meet up on Saturday. Once Saturday came, we had a good time. She said we should get together again soon, I told her, " I am busy this week and next weekend, but I am around on the following weekend."
This friend figured out that I love spending time with her, however, she found another person to go out partying with her every night of the week. Meanwhile, I ended up with more free time for yoga, cooking, swimming and meditating. Now when I see my friend, we enjoy each others company as our time together is limited.
Solution for a chatty coworker:
Wear headphones if you can. If not, ask another coworker to come interrput the coversation each time she sees the chatty coworker interrupting.
If this chatty coworker is hovering in you office, ask her to walk to the printer or supply office with you, which then escorts her out of your office without being mean. When there is a pause in the conversation, tell her you will talk to her later.
Solution for a controlling coworker and you need to bring the control back to you:
Sit at the head of the conference table whenever possible, get off the elevator or walk through the doorway first to establish youself as being in charge, sit in silence when the controlling coworker has been rude or demanding as this will let him feel the impact of his actions. Some other solutions include times when this person has spoken out of turn, so instead of acknowledging what he has said, simply carry on by saying relevant to the conversation, "so what I will need is to get those numbers from you by Tuesday afternoon." You can also sit next to you boss in meetings or gatherings, this guy might think you are under your bosses wing and stop trying to control you.
Solution for a boss who won't listen to your ideas:
Let him think your solutions are his idea, or present him with various options and let him decide. For example, if your boss is a jerk about granting vacation, and you want time off around Labor Day, ask him if he would prefer if you took a few days before or after the Labor Day weekend off.
Solution for someone who is nosey:
When this person gets in your face wanting to know something, assure this person that they don't want to know and then quickly change the subject. This creates a diversion. For example, if this person asks you what you and your best friend were just arguing about, tell her, "oh, it was not argiung, we were just debating something. So, what have you been up to lately?" or something to that effect. The point is to create a lack of interest in the area she was probing, and quickly turn the conversation back to her. If not, she will drain your energy by going into details of your personal life to make herself feel better, which is a definite energy zapper!
Someone who puts you on the spot asking you for something:
Simply say, "let me get back to you on that". Or, if you are comfortable saying "no", remember that the word no is a complete sentence! If your friend is asking for help moving, and she bailed on you during your last move, simply tell her "I have other commitments". You do not need to elaborate further. Your other commitments do not concern her.
When two friends get in a fight and try to stick you in the middle:
Tell them, "I love you both and I am not getting in the middle of this".
What kind of awkward situations are you facing that you need help resolving? Send me a comment and I will respond.
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